Step Aside

(revised September 2015)

Every journey starts with a single step, though on this journey it starts with a single word and that word is “Welcome”.  Welcome to the Meadows of Heaven blog which is my spiritual journey with God as He instructs and leads me through the blessings and challenges (MS) He has allowed to come into my life.

Let’s talk straight.  I believe that God is real and that He is everything the Bible says He is. I also believe that God appeared on earth in human form and was called Jesus.  I know that God communicates with every person who seeks Him.  I hope in sharing what He says to me you’ll hear a message that is applicable to you or is spiritually enlightening, or maybe even both.

At the top of the list of blessings is my family: a husband, two grown children (son and daughter), two adopted children (son-in-law & daughter-in-law), and six beautiful, smart and exceptional grandchildren.  Another blessing is my home: a six acre country home referred to as “Abba’s Acres.”

Next on my list of blessings are six family horses, four dogs, two temperamental housecats and an ever-changing number of barn cats.  I love and respect animals in general, but my passion is for horses.  As a child, my family situation and lifestyle didn’t allow for horses.  My dream to have my own horse didn’t come true until I was forty-three.  Although I have learned a lot in the past sixteen years in regards to horse behavior, care and training, I am in no way an expert and this blog is not to advise nor instruct on equine issues.

 
My main challenge in life is Multiple Sclerosis (MS).  I was diagnosed in 2001 and have Secondary-Progressive MS (SPMS).  As my MS is progressing, I find myself constantly having to adjust to a new level of disability.  I do not believe God “did this” to me but He has used my illness to guide and instruct me in matters of spiritual insight and growth.  Sometimes His teachings are easily and joyfully received; those “a-ha” moments when a point of wisdom illuminates one’s mind and soul.  Other bits of wisdom are more difficult and even painfully absorbed.  It is humbling to be disabled and “humbleness” is not one of my natural attributes.  Even with the help of the Holy Spirit, self-reliance and pride continue to be strongholds against my acquiring a humble attitude and accepting my disabled and dependent state.  Isn’t pride and self-reliance versus humbleness and repentance a battle that we all share?  It is my hope and prayer that by sharing some of my struggles and victories, you will be able to glean some spiritual insight that will help you on your journey.  Let our journey begin.

“My sheep listen to My voice; I know them, and they follow Me.” John 10:27.

Life can have a way of wearing us down and recently I found myself in a total state of weariness.  Do you ever get weary?  I’m not talking about fleeting moments of discouragement or emotional and/or physical fatigue.  I’m talking about days, weeks or maybe even months, of feeling overwhelmed by your life’s circumstances. Perhaps you have even lost hope of ever enjoying your life again.  I have heard that hopelessness is a sin.  To choose to live in the state of hopelessness is contrary to the nature of God, and since sin is defined as that which is contrary to God’s nature and design, I would have to say that that statement is true.  However, the emotion of hopelessness is not a sin, but a warning sign that our perspective of life is out of balance.  It is pride that keeps us from accepting our own limitations and from accepting that God, not ourselves, is the “Redeemer”.  In this world we idealize the “super hero”.  There is no honor or admiration given to the “rescued” but only to the “rescuer”.  Don’t we all have a deep seated need and desire to be significant and admired?  When we humble ourselves by accepting our limitations, we began to understand how we should depend on God’s strength and not our own.   When I allow feelings of hopelessness to rule my mind, I need to remember to trust God to handle any seemingly insurmountable problem that comes my way.  Latelym I talked to God about the issues that were tormenting me and he told me to “Step aside.”

When He said “Step Aside”, I instinctively thought of what I had said to my own children when they were young.  We were having the dangerous adult” talk wherein you try to teach them that harm can come to them unexpectedly and from unexpected sources.  I concluded our talk by telling them that if they should ever find themselves in danger they were to scream for me; scream for me, and then “step aside”.  Those of you who have children understand my meaning.  I call it the “she-bear syndrome."   Oblivious to her own safety where the welfare of her cubs is concerned, if the mother bear perceives that the lives of her cubs are in jeopardy , at that moment her  sole purpose in life is to eliminate the source of the danger.


 However, God’s answer to me was multidimensional.  Besides giving me the assurance that He was protectively and eagerly waiting to intervene on my behalf, He was also teaching me to release the problem to Him and to stop trying to fix it.  Not only did I need to depend on Him but I needed to “step aside” and let Him work.